I used to keep all my books in perfect conditions. Every flip and turn would have to be carried out attentively and watchfully. Making sure I didn't induce any creases or wore out corners on the cover. Every time I close the book, I would observe front to back that it's still in good condition and then carefully place it back on the shelf or wherever it belonged, ranging wildly from the side of the bed to the cold hardwood floor. Now, all my books look discernibly second-handed. Not only are they really used books mostly, even if it's newly purchased, it would be demolished by inattentive reading and bending and throwing within the end of a chapter. I don't remember how and when I started the habit, and how and when it ended. I am not exactly sure where I'm trying to lead this to. Or if I have any purpose of telling.
Someone in the past told me that she knows someone that does exactly the same thing, has the same habit. Someone with significance in her life. I don't remember how I replied her or if I did. But I'm a good listener, if you have a good story, I'll listen. So far the only information I managed to obtain is someone knows of a someone, who has somewhat of the same habit as someone like me. Again, I have no idea where I'm trying to lead this to.
I saw "Wackness" today. It's pretty awesome. This is my favorite line from the movie -- "Know what your problem is, Shapiro? It's that you just have this really shitty way of looking at things, ya know? I don't have that problem. I just look at the dopeness. But you, it's like you just look at the wackness, ya know?" I wish I have the chance to say this to someone, sometime in life. Easily substitute the name, and make it sound like I've got mad perspective. shieeeeet.
Sometimes, I get easily confused with the act of keeping in touch with someone or annoyingly bothering them. But if I don't make the effort, I'm afraid of progressive distancing. And that would be wackkkkk.
I'm on a mission to make my life more dope. Following the path that might leads me nowhere. Nowhere other than dopeness.
P.S.
I forgot to mention that I failed to attend a gay man's birthday party yesterday night, I know for a fact that he'll hate me forever. This is somewhat distressing me. Believe it or not, I digged up a story to follow with this. 17 year old me, in Bangkok Thailand, took a picture with a transvestite after some sort of trannies broadway show or similar. Do not ask me why I decided to take a picture with a tranny, it was what everyone was doing and the only appropriate thing to do at the time. Realized afterward that I didn't have enough currency to tip him. 17 year old me therefore, slowly retracted my way out of the crowd, tried to act silly and broke. The tranny never took his eyes off me. This haunted me until now. If I have the money or a way to track him down, I would totally fly back to Bangkok and tip him. I was so afraid that he was going to put voodoo on me, as a curse of not tipping him. Lesson to be taught, don't take pictures with trannies. Don't ever upset a tranny or a gay man. I've managed to pull off both. FML.
1 comment:
I don't know what it is but I just watched this movie last night and now web surfing i came across this blog with "The Wackness" in it. Maybe it has something to do with the book "Be Here Now." I was looking to order another copy of it, because the last one I had lent out and was never returned. Maybe the girl i loaned it to needed it more than me at the time. Although I feel I need it again, now. I googled for excerpts of the book and it led me to some one who follows your blog. I don't know exactly where i'm going with all this but I feel my life needs to change, I need to change, I need my awareness back, my unrelenting curiosity, my passion. I know it's all there, just need a little osmosis to permeate the membrane, if you know what I mean. Again I don't know where this is going. Looking for those pages of "Be Here Now", the movie "The Wackness" last night led me here. So I figure I must tell you. It just feels right. My favorite part was when Shaperio and the Dr. were sitting on the beach after he swam out into the ocean. The Dr said something like that was some pussy shit you said back there. And the tension cuts and they both begin laughing. And the other moment Shaperio walks out to the elevator and says to the girl "just stand there, while I wait here" she stops. The he says "i just never had my heart broken before" and walks into the elevator leaving her there in shock. Wonderful.
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