Night Creature

Yesterday night I solo trooped to the Sonic Youth listening party at the Envoy Gallery in the LES, which in my opinion was practically in Chinatown, which was also the reason that I went, because of the easy access to the Chinatown van. When I first arrived there was a line, and I was totally not digging it. I don't wait on lines yo. At least not for Sonic Youth, whom I have seen at least 3 times live. As I started contemplating on aborting this whole lame waiting ordeal, the line slowly but systemically started moving. So I decided to stick around. Turns out they have buckets of free beers laying around as well as free pizzas. I quickly chucked down a couple of beers thinking that it was only limited supply, but as the night progressed, the buckets of beers seemed infinite. By 7pm I was already trashed. Decided to smoke my newly bought Cloves to sober up a bit and of course Thurston Moore was just standing outside, chilling, surrounded by seemingly his friends. I tried to find a chance to introduce myself, by buying time chaining smoking cloves and cigs alternatively, but resulted in a failure because he was constantly surrounded by people. My night ended by stuffing my face in grilled pork rice on the Chinatown van, and passing out at 9pm to waking up at 12pm the next day.

Been trying to drink large amount of fluids this morning to regain my voice, which was probably impaired by large amount of drinking and smoking. I have realized that I have been a very lousy drunk recently. I sincerely feel bad for the people that received my drunken text msgs. I think that I at least attempt to send it to the people that I know are forgiving.

Anyhow, my life needs to resume to normality. Meaning to stay home on weekdays, go to the gym regularly, go out reasonably on weekends, and stop getting insanely trashed and sending drunk msgs to people. I think that I have probably said this a million times. It's probably never going to happen. My life sucks.

Night creature, night creature
When will you be gone?
Night terror, night terror
When will you be gone?

OH MY GOD

Antichrist, starring Willem Dafoe and Charlotte Gainsbourg, is said to be the most shocking and talked-about entry of this year's Cannes film festival. After reading much of the reviews online and seeing the trailer, all I want to say is, OH MY GOD. If you watched the trailer and saw the last 2 seconds of it, you will be reciting that as well.

From the Reuters:

Antichrist opens with a heavily stylized, black-and-white, slow-motion portrayal of the child's accidental death set to soaring music by Handel.

Dafoe's character, who is a therapist, tries to help his wife deal with her grief and encourages her to come off heavy medication that sedates her for weeks after the death.

They decide to go to an isolated wooden cabin in an unspecified forest to recover, but the woman Gainsbourg portrays loses control of her senses.

The abuse she submits herself and her husband to drew shocked gasps from the audience.

--
This movie makes me nervous. I want to know what kind of brutal tortures they induce on each other, but I am also somewhat scared to see it. Since they made it sound like most of the violence was overtly unnecessary. I am really shocked that Charlotte Gainsbourg would take up such a role. I have liked most of her previous films, especially Science of Sleep. This movie is nothing like any of the works she has done. This movie is too hyped up right now. I have a feeling it's going to be so overrated.



Now compare that with this



What the hell happened, Charlotte Gainsbourg. How did you get from a romantic comedy to.......Antichrist??? I have expressed how shocked I am that Charlotte would take up a role like that to my friend Ben, who is actually the first to expose me to this film, responded as follow: "dude what are you talking about, Charlotte Gainsbourg is crazy. She would do anything. Did you see the trailer to the movie yet?"

Silence like the wind overtakes me

I used to keep all my books in perfect conditions. Every flip and turn would have to be carried out attentively and watchfully. Making sure I didn't induce any creases or wore out corners on the cover. Every time I close the book, I would observe front to back that it's still in good condition and then carefully place it back on the shelf or wherever it belonged, ranging wildly from the side of the bed to the cold hardwood floor. Now, all my books look discernibly second-handed. Not only are they really used books mostly, even if it's newly purchased, it would be demolished by inattentive reading and bending and throwing within the end of a chapter. I don't remember how and when I started the habit, and how and when it ended. I am not exactly sure where I'm trying to lead this to. Or if I have any purpose of telling.

Someone in the past told me that she knows someone that does exactly the same thing, has the same habit. Someone with significance in her life. I don't remember how I replied her or if I did. But I'm a good listener, if you have a good story, I'll listen. So far the only information I managed to obtain is someone knows of a someone, who has somewhat of the same habit as someone like me. Again, I have no idea where I'm trying to lead this to.

I saw "Wackness" today. It's pretty awesome. This is my favorite line from the movie -- "Know what your problem is, Shapiro? It's that you just have this really shitty way of looking at things, ya know? I don't have that problem. I just look at the dopeness. But you, it's like you just look at the wackness, ya know?" I wish I have the chance to say this to someone, sometime in life. Easily substitute the name, and make it sound like I've got mad perspective. shieeeeet.

Sometimes, I get easily confused with the act of keeping in touch with someone or annoyingly bothering them. But if I don't make the effort, I'm afraid of progressive distancing. And that would be wackkkkk.

I'm on a mission to make my life more dope. Following the path that might leads me nowhere. Nowhere other than dopeness.






P.S.
I forgot to mention that I failed to attend a gay man's birthday party yesterday night, I know for a fact that he'll hate me forever. This is somewhat distressing me. Believe it or not, I digged up a story to follow with this. 17 year old me, in Bangkok Thailand, took a picture with a transvestite after some sort of trannies broadway show or similar. Do not ask me why I decided to take a picture with a tranny, it was what everyone was doing and the only appropriate thing to do at the time. Realized afterward that I didn't have enough currency to tip him. 17 year old me therefore, slowly retracted my way out of the crowd, tried to act silly and broke. The tranny never took his eyes off me. This haunted me until now. If I have the money or a way to track him down, I would totally fly back to Bangkok and tip him. I was so afraid that he was going to put voodoo on me, as a curse of not tipping him. Lesson to be taught, don't take pictures with trannies. Don't ever upset a tranny or a gay man. I've managed to pull off both. FML.

"I'm here"

Allow me to play a little film critic here, on a film I just saw tonight. First of all, if you don't already know, I am a huge fan of foreign films, particularly the French's. "I've loved you so long" directed by Phillippe Claudel, needless to say, is a French film. The screenplay and the cast are just too brilliant. The story begins with Juliette being released from a 15 years imprisonment, for murdering her six year old son. Her younger sister Lea invites her to stay with her family upon her release. Throughout the movie, we see Juliette tries to reestablish her life in the real society. We gradually learn that Juliette is sensitive and compassionate, yet hardened and withdrawn. We also learn that she is a former doctor. As we gather more and more details around this character, the tension builds up progressively. We begin to wonder why a beautiful, intelligent, sensitive woman would came about killing her own son. The end, of course, was a suspenseful twist. Do not perceive this film as a thriller tho. This film is by no means a thriller, it's most definitely a drama. It's powerful dialogues and the detailed and insightful depiction of the characters are never to be find in a shallow thriller. Let me just add that Kristin Scott Thomas's acting in this movie is impeccable.

I love French Cinema because they are affectionate and they tell good stories, in which you will never come close to seeing in a Hollywood film. And I love stories. I love hearing stories from people I adore. I love watching a good story. I love reading a good story. I would love it if I can ever write a good story. It would definitely be a bliss if I live a good story. If my life itself was a good story. French films carry on with no fancy props. No extreme special effects. Often times, it establishes intimacy with a lot of close up, careful camera work that relies on the actors knowing how important executing pauses, facial and bodily expressions, and the delivery of their lines are. Basically, simplicity yet influential, always constructs a good statement.



I cried in the end. I would watch it again.

Forgotten Videos

So I completely forgot that I have a youtube account and uploaded videos in it. I have decided to share a couple in my blog. Apparently I'm not only an active youtube browser, but I was once a contributor too.

This is a video I made of my friend Beth while she was not aware at our friend Mitch's apt in the East Village. I think that we were just drinking wine and chilling on the couch. She thought all along that I was taking a picture of her. But I was bored so I shot a video instead. I used to love taking videos so I can edit it, back in the college days. It's hard because a lot of people are camera shy and they will never comply if they know you're taking a video of them. So you always have to end up being a creep and shoot while they are not aware. They are usually glad afterward, if not pissed. Beth was quite satisfied with the outcome of the video tho. I named it "A Robot's Vision"

A Robots Vision



And this........I have no idea what the fuck this is. I'm pretty sure we were drunk. Or so I hope. (Godddddddddddddd)



Website mentioned in the video: http://www.junk-mag.com/

I had a dream I went to Coney Island

This is awesome because the soundtrack is by Panda Bear.



This is the reason why I'm dead at work and manic texting people for adderall. I'm still awake and watching youtube! FML.

In love with this

Been trying to sleep early tonight but ended up spending the last 30 mins watching this video on the loop. I think that this is the best music video I have seen recently. Not to mention the song is dopeeeee. I highly anticipate their upcoming album with such a promising single. Audrey needs to step aside for this, totally had to express this in 1st person point of view.

Audrey and her fish lighter

From her desk, she looked out the window of a corporate building in the city, it was raining out. The humidity and gloominess made Audrey wanted to go home and sleep. She was at work, looking at the time on the lower right corner of her monitor, it read 4:26PM. Only 34 more minutes till she was dismiss from work. Audrey didn't do much at work today except browsing through the internet for her missing fishy lighter that she lost 2 days ago. She has no recollection of when and how the lighter had gone missing. It must have fell out of clothes pockets obliviously. The fishy escaped. It no longer wanted to serve as her lighter. Or maybe the fishy loved her so much that it didn't want Audrey to get lung cancer. It's one of those love/hate relationship. She spent much of her work hours calling all the locations of the store she bought it from, but resulted in disappointments with feedback such as "sorry we don't carry that style anymore" or "yea that's one of our most popular items in the store and it's unfortunately all sold out. We're suppose to get a restock of it but I can't tell you exactly when that will happen." The fishy lighters are not sold out from the store, but just that particular glow in the dark skeleton one is, because everyone wants that one, it's a fucking lighter that glows in the dark. More importantly, that's the one Audrey wanted. Audrey thought about tracking the lighter with locations worldwide but learned from one of the sales that the store does not offer international sales. Meaning that even if they have it in Paris or another country, they would not ship it to the States. Audrey thought the likeliness of the Paris stores having them are hypothetically high, being that the store is originated from France. She wishes that she has friends in Paris that can retrieve the lighter for her. Audrey does not like when things she likes has gone mysteriously missing. She does not like when things she wants cannot be obtained. She will not give up on this fishy lighter. It will be a mission of hers until she retrieves it back.

She spent an hour or so drumming after she came home. Not sleeping, as she has planned. She managed to master playing Cheerleader, one of Grizzly Bear's newest singles. She realized that the phrase "practice makes perfect" applies effectively. She has been obsessively reading the book "Everything is illuminated" and thinks that talking and writing in 3rd person is really fun to do. She decided to blog in place of a fictional character, because she is tired of talking about herself and saying I and me and myself. She plans on continuing blogging about this character which will loosely reflects her personal life, until she thinks of herself or others think of herself as delusional. Audrey chose a fictional character with a name that starts with an A because she is fond of names that starts with an A. She realized this during a brief conversation with her friend last week while strolling on the streets in the East Village. The conversation was about what kind of names she thinks best suitable for her friend instead of her birth name. Audrey suggested Amelia, because she likes the movie Amelia and her character in the movie. She thought about the conversation the other day and realized that she's actually quite fond of names starting with the letter A or has the letter A in it. After even much revolution and elaboration on that thought, she realized that most of her closest friends' names have the letter A in it. She started to find it as an interesting notion.

Audrey accepted to help out her friends who are quite substantial producers in the media industry. The shoot was supposed to be this coming Sunday, but due to the acidic weather, the shoot has been rescheduled to the 17th. Audrey can't determine if that's fortunate or unfortunate, because she just wanted to get it over with, and it was spontaneously being postponed. She is also moderately nervous on the role she has accepted to play, leading to the fortunate part of the misfortune. She now has more time to research and practice how she should take on this role. Audrey did a Nokia commercial with the same crew before, that is why she initially agreed to help again, because she had a good time working with them. It will also be a good reference on her resume, because eventually she will reach out for a job in the media industry again, when the economy gets better. Audrey wants to be a video editor. The producers informed her again at the shoot meeting on Wednesday that the Nokia commercial is currently airing on television in the west coast. Sometimes Audrey wonders, how rapid the commercial airs and on what channels. How likely would someone see it, more importantly, how likely would people recognize her. Audrey also wonders if one day, someone would approach her and say something along the lines like "hey! you're that girl in the Nokia commercial!" or "hey! you look somewhat familiar....have I seen you on T.V!" Not that it has any significance, Audrey just wonders a lot.

Audrey is now sitting on her bed, listening to Fleet Foxes with her eyes close, while still trying to type at the same time. She wonders if she can still type out a comprehensible paragraph if she is typing with her eyes close. She did a testing and these are sample results:

ATTEMPT 1 --- i didn't understand. morning new. you don't say a single word of the lasting years. i didn't understandddddd. noooo. ahhh ahhha hh ahh ahh ahh ahh . see9 dollas in your hand. you try to do what you did before. back to your. theres nohitng i can't dooooooooo. theres nothinggggg i can't dooooooo. theres nothing i can't say. theres nothing i can't sayyyyyy.

ATTEMPT 2 -- come down from the ountian you have been gone too long. spring is upon and follow my only songggg. sad to down and by the fire yeeeyayeeeyaaa you should come back home the world is alive now in and outside ahhhhoooo songgggg you should come back home back on your even in the light when the woman of the to give to you the word of an old man morning time the spirral and the sea gogo fly light me if you will. tell me anything u want any other lie witll do call me back to. back to youuuuuu.

Lyrics from Fleet Foxes' songs came out like this.